Tuesday, September 1, 2009

gosh. i wanna kill myself now please. (no real suicidal thoughts here though.)
i get into endless mess with myself and i dont even know where im leading myself to.
my brain's making me upset lately cause all i've been doing is math, not because im a geek who loves math (yes i do love math but not to that extent) but only because math is the only subject which you dont need to think too much, in a sense that you dont have to analyze stuff, cause its just so mechanical. so much work left undone, and yet my heart's just.....not here.
I feel so burdened, extremely burdened in fact. But strangely, i cant put a finger as to what it is thats burdening my mind. maybe theres too many things, thats why.
and as much as i admit that i do love school to a certain extent, i think i have this hidden fear. of everything thats school-related. and even life-related in fact. why is life so scary?
for once, im admitting, that during times like these, it'll be nice to have someone to hold and be there by your side.

dont mind me, all these are just ramblings from a tired, upset and (very) angsty 17 year old ):