Wednesday, July 22, 2009

today's just....different. it wasnt exactly a good day to be honest but its amazing how much i've learnt from everything.

my patience was definitely put on a test today. it made me feel quite bad at the end of the day because sometimes, people are just the way they are.

i think human beings can be the worst things on earth. we can love someone with all our heart but when the bad side in them appears, we always tend to overlook and forget and ignore the good things in the person, how that person has made a difference in our lives, how that person had carved a smile on your face, how that person loves you.
why am i such a hypocrite. sigh. i pray that i'll get to learn along the way.
no, im not just referring to you-know-who specifically (cause she made my blood pressure UP to the max today. tsk) but im saying this in general.

and i've never felt so emotional before when ms K was scolding/lecturing/nagging at us. she was on the verge of tears and half of us couldnt hold back our tears. of course, i shall not reveal too much here but just know that it really made a difference.

i dont rly say much of this, but it made me regret&reflect.

there's so much that I am blinded from and I pray, God, that you help open up my eyes, help open up our eyes. i stumble and fall, and i have to pick myself up, over and over and over again. it gets tiring and i just gave up. im ashamed. im so blinded that i cant see how these actually makes me a stronger and stronger person and how much love there is behind all these.

and I pray too, that i will stop being superficial at all in any way. I deny the truth just because of what i hear from others, just because of their comments, which when I look back, actually has no basis for their discrimination. I keep trying to tell myself this but it just doesnt seem to work. I dont even know what or who I am conforming to.

but most of all, i think i owe my family, friends and God the most. I cant believe how true it is, when they say that its so easy for us to turn to God when we're facing hardships but we always tend to forget about God and all the blessings that he has given us, no matter how big or small, whenever we're not facing difficulties. sometimes, we tend to put our friends first so much that we forget that its our family who's always there for us no matter what. they love us, no matter what. "i hate you"s, squabbles, fights just show us that we're weak in showing our love, not because we dont love. i think i have a lot to learn from that. im gonna sound fake if i say that i love all my friends, but its a reality that i cant deny. they have taught me so many things which I could not learn from my family nor my teachers.

i hope that i can start the day anew tmr onwards and to charge forward with all my might and with all that I have. (:

p.s. this is not an emotional post. its just my thoughts on today. haha.