Thursday, November 20, 2008

i'm feeling ultra angsty now so i shall copy paste smth from my LJ to this blog :@
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i realised how the whole Penantian drama makes sense now.

You were waiting, waiting for something for so long. You keep waiting and hoping that it'll come.People said it wont come, yet you waited and never gave up. Your patience was at times, kinda admirable.You never gave up waiting because you strongly believe that if you waited long enough, you'll get it- enough proof to show that you deeply love and care. You hide your true intentions, just so that noody will see it at all. But the longing in your heart went unnoticed.

But she came along, she didnt want you to wait. She adviced you not to, because it was wasting your time. In everyone else's eyes, what she did was right. You should not wait, you should just go. But in her heart, she had a total different intention. She didnt want you to wait, because she thought you were waiting for someone else. She didnt want you to wait, because inside, her heart was screaming for you to come to her. And she gave up, just like that, because she thought that there was no hope, no chance at all. You were waiting for someone else, there's no place for her in your heart.

rather sad ending. my version of the Penantian drama. Based on reality dudez. If you realise, there's still the conclusion part which is missing. Im not the director here, but Fate is. I am just the audience, having seen the whole drama from the start and waiting for the conclusion. I'm like an audience who is engrossed in the whole drama, observing every little development of the story, not knowing where and when the twist in the story will occur- if there is even any in the first place. I am the audience here, who knows every little thing that is going on stage yet it would be rather impossible to run to the stage and change the way the drama is going according to the way i like it to be. I can't, i can only afford to sit here and watch. Feel sympathy for the characters, feel annoyed, yet entertained and amused.

But i am not the only audience here. There are other audiences here too. But they were too engrossed, too engrossed in the whole drama that they fail to see the deeper meaning to everything. Humour overcomes senses. They are all watching this drama. But what they could never watch is me. I am sitting, back-facing everyone. They don't know that tears were slowly welling up in my eyes.

Life's such a drama don't you think?
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MY VERSION OF PENANTIAN, THE WAY I SEE IT.